Have another baby, I mean. But...can? Of course we can. But should we? Is it a responsible decision? Does he even want another child or am I just being allowed to have one? His ambivalence makes me worry.
I think it's just part of my makeup as a woman to want to make babies. And the feeling that I'd be so much better at it a second time around makes that want even bigger. But I think I'm sort of depending on him to be the voice of reason. If there is a need to be reasoned with. I know he loves me and wants to give me what I want... but is me having what I want going to make his life suck? Does he feel guilty for not giving me another child? Does he feel sorry for me? Would he even tell me those things?
I just don't know what to make of it. I really, really want to have another baby. (Which is crazy because I specifically remember thinking "I will NEVER do this again!"..lol..hrm..) But I don't want another baby at the expense of what I already have. I don't want him to be (more) stressed over money, and I don't want him to regret "letting" me have another baby.
It's been so back-and-forth. I think my mind is exhausted by it. Thinking about it makes me feel sooo nervous. I just don't want to have any regrets either way.
BLAH.
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