I read a lot about moms saying they never knew what love really was until they had a child. I've never felt like that. But I don't think of that as a bad thing. Actually, I think the contrary. Because I've known what love really is for a long time. My baby girl just meant more of it in my life.
I know some people would call me a bad mother for admitting this, but I love my husband just as much as I love my child. I don't love my daughter more than my husband. That's just the truth, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. For some reason, many moms seem to think that our children must be at the top of our Love List. But why? Personally, I don't understand how being a mom is the first moment when these moms really understood true love. Does this man they've been with for however long does not meet the bar? He's somehow inferior to this other person? Does making a whole other person with this man, promising to spend every day with him until death, offering him every single vulnerable part of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually not constitute true, infinite, unyielding love? Maybe I'm just lucky and got blessed with a super duper awesome husband that makes me feel just as significant and important and special as the child I gave birth to.
I love having dinner cooking away when my husband gets home. I love to pack his lunch. I love to look at him and soak in his smell and play with his hair. I love to see him smile, and hearing him laugh is enough to make me happy all day. My heart skips a beat EVERY day when he comes home from work. Since we were children, every single day he's given me butterflies. I love him. He's not just my companion and partner, he's what makes me me. Without him, I wouldn't be who I'm supposed to be. I'm willing to depend on him that much. To say that, without him, I wouldn't know who I am. Together, we make one just like together, we made a baby.
The significance of life, trust, and love became obvious to me because of him. Not giving birth or having a child. He was first, she was second, and they are precious to me in equal amounts. I see a child as the physical result and image of marriage. They're the same thing: marriage and child. It may not be perfect, and sometimes it's hard to deal with, but it's the two of you made into one. It requires effort to build it up strong and confident and capable of withstanding outside influences that try to bring it down. It's life changing and massively important to who we are. Wives and mothers.
A husband is not an accessory or a burden or something you need to "train" or "deal with." He is a part of you and you a part of him. Any faults you find in him are faults you find in yourself. You chose him, committed to him. He should be just as precious to a woman as her child.
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